And in her heart, he was to stay
by CArfwedsonFan91
Summary: Zollie oneshot: Ollie realises that something is desperately wrong with Zosia- will she let him in? Will he get through to her?


**A/N italics are flashbacks**

 _'Zosia? Zosia it's ok, it's me' Ollie said, caution in his voice and his outward exterior calm, despite the fact that, since Tara's surgery which claimed her life, he had never been more worried. His piercing blue eyes masked this well as he tried to make the young woman before him, the young woman he loved, see that he was there, and that she was going to be ok. He had never been around when she was 'sick' before, as she put it, and he finally understood what she had worried about. 'Not that that was going to send me away', he thought to himself. He knew it would come eventually, but it was still a shock and no less upsetting._

Ollie was brought out of his daydream by the unmistakable shadow of the same height of Henrik Hanssen, clearing his throat as if to draw the doctor's attention. He and Guy sat and waited side by side, hardly saying a word to one another as they both wondered what on earth had gone wrong. They looked up at the sympathetic, calm face of their CEO, and for once were comforted by his presence.

'How is she?' Henrik said simply, taking the spare seat next to Ollie. Ollie shook his head slowly, his chin. Resting on his knuckles as he leaned forward, and Guy put a comforting hand on Ollie's back.

'It's how it was before...' was all he said, and Henrik nodded in acceptance and understanding. He had not been CEO at the time of Zosia's diagnosis but during his knowing her, she had proven herself to be an asset to the hospital, overcoming adversity and coming to terms with a new life of bipolar and lithium. This was just a minor setback, he considered. Still, he could see how worried the two men were.

'She was making such progress' Guy blurted, looking and sounding confused, exasperated even. He had been trying to make sense of this setback for hours, since Ollie had alerted him to Zosia's sudden deterioration. 'I don't understand'.

'Mental health problems don't go away, Mr Self' Henrik reassured, matter-of-factly but sympathetically, 'they simply lie on a spectrum. Today we're at one end, and other days we will be at the other.'

'It was like I didn't know her, like she didn't know me, us' Ollie blurted, he too trying to make sense of what had happened.

 _Zosia paced around the room, flinching at the slightest attempt Ollie had made to calm and comfort her. 'Leave me alone' she hurriedly snapped, as she flung herself away from the man she loved, the man she forgot she loved. 'You think I don't know what you say about me?' She spat, grabbing Ollie by the shirt and shoving him against the cabinets in the office. Tears in her eyes, she was clearly struggling to get a grip of her thoughts._

 _'Darling, I think you should come with me-'_

 _'I'm not going anywhere with you!' She screamed._

 _'Sweetheart-'_

 _'Don't sweetheart me' she shouted_

 _'Zosia...you're not well. You've been awake for days, pepped up, I've just seen your online banking statement, you've spent all your money, as well as money you don't even have' he pleaded, and Zosia looked furious. Anger boiled inside of her, and she snapped._

 _'I can't believe you've been snooping into my personal banking!' She shouted, looking horrified. 'I needed the money to-'_

 _'To what, Zosia?' he probed. She didn't have money, and he had no idea how she got it._

 _'To pay for dads neuro centre' she reasoned. 'He gave me a rotation on neuro when he didn't have to, and when I moved to Darwin it meant he was a surgeon down, I need to give him that money to make it right, mama always said 'you pay your way' and 'if you can make something right, make it right'- she always knew what to say, had the right words-'_

 _Ollie's heart broke. 'Zosh, your dad didn't know anything about the withdrawal. Your mum didn't mean for you to compensate in any way, your dad knows you made the move for your career, he is fine' he nodded, desperately trying to convince her._

 _'She always had the right words, how can she possibly be wrong, you didn't know her, you don't know anything!' She shouted. Ollie took a deep breath. As much as it pained him to see her like this, he realised that to keep her calm (well, as calm as possible), he needed to make her believe he was on her side...but he had to think of something, and fast..._

 _'Zosia...ok, fine, you want to make things right with your dad?' He asked, making eye contact with her. She didn't need to make anything right, of course not...but if she was going to trust him...'then let's go and talk to him' -_

Guy shook his head and looked over at Ollie, and realised he was just as worried about Zosia as he was. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'She'll be ok, Ollie'

'I know that...its just...it was just really scary seeing her like that...'

'Not thinking of going anywhere, are you?' He asked, suddenly feeling worried. He was pierce,y protective of his little girl, and knowing how worried she had been about telling anybody about her condition, he needed to make sure that this man was honourable.

'Of course not' Ollie quickly reassured.

'After her last...' Guy paused, '...episode...she became depressed...it was agony watching her become so different in herself, and it took a long time to build herself back up, and she needed all the support she could get' he recalled, and Ollie nodded. 'I just want you to know this so you don't run a mile later'

'I'm not going anywhere, Mr Self' Ollie reassured. 'I love her'

 _Guy approached the Darwin on call room, where Ollie had brought Zosia to calm down. 'I don't know what's happening, but I think she needs help' he cautioned him, and Guy nodded in understanding to thank him._

 _'Zoshie?' He said with caution, and Zosia stood abruptly and ran to hug him. As she held him, she started to weep and Guy moved his arms around her protectively. 'Zoshie, darling, what is it?'_

 _'Daddy I will pay you back' she gabbled, her voice muffled as she buried her face into her father's shoulder._

 _'Pay me for what?'_

 _'My experience and your unit. If I can help, so I must help, and I pay my own way' she responded, sounding very sure of herself and what she was doing, but Guy was confused. She wasn't making any sense...all of a sudden she pulled away, and reached into her handbag and pulled out wads of cash, and Guys face paled._

 _'Zosia, I don't want you to pay for anything. There really is no need' he reassured her, stroking her arms comfortingly. 'I won't let you.'_

 _'What do you mean? Are you saying mama was wrong? That she was lying?!' She replied, feeling confused and agitated. 'I need to help'_

 _'Zoshie...' Guy frowned, sadly. 'Where did the money come from?'_

 _'Nowhere!' She shouted, 'it's my money, what I do with it is my business'_

 _'Zosia, I need to know where the money came from' he reasoned, moving towards her gently and attempting to slowly reach for her bag._

 _'None of your business' she shouted as she tossed the bag away. 'You think I'm mad don't you?!' She cries, running her hands through her long, loose wavy hair, clutching to her scalp. 'You've put me away before, you'll do it again, all I'm trying to do is help' she cried and Guy held out his arms. He was devastated._

 _'I know darling, but you do need help...more help than Ollie and I can give you...please?' He asked, holding out his hand. She looked at his hand, and at his face. He looked upset...worried...desperate..._

The men were brought out of their daydreams by a nurse appearing from the room Zosia had been taken into hours before. Ollie was surprised, it hadn't even felt like hours, but he realised and he had been replaying the last hours previously over, and over again. Could he have done more? Was she going to be ok? What had happened? Was he responsible for letting things get this far? Not that he could have predicted this...

'How is she?' Guy leapt up, and the nurse nodded.,

'She's resting' he informed them, 'but one of you can go in and sit with her if you like. She's been sedated, so don't be surprised if she isn't very responsive' he cautioned.

'Go on Ollie' Guy directed, and Ollie smiled and entered the room.

She looked so fragile, so small, so...empty, Ollie thought to himself as he stepped into the room and saw a woman resembling Zosia lying on the bed before him, her back to the door, sleeping. She must have been exhausted, the poor thing. He stepped round to the side of the bed she was facing, he wanted her to see he was there for her when she woke up. Her eyes were closed and she looked at peace, a complete contrast to how she had been in the days, weeks even, leading up to this.

He sat in the chair facing Zosia and took her hand and as she slowly woke, she did not speak. She did not smile. She did not do anything, just lay, and let Ollie take her hand and stroke her hair. She did not take his back, it was like all life had left her and she was merely a shell.

'Hello beautiful' he smiled, stroking her cheek gently and kissing her hand. She did not respond, just merely looked at him. Why was he here? Why did he think she deserved him? 'You don't need to say anything' he reassured, 'I'm here. I am always going to be here.'

She let out a small smile, so small Ollie would have missed it if he hadn't been watching, and slowly moved her fingers to encircle his. They remained like that for what felt like an eternity but she felt peaceful. There was no rush to try and make sense of what was happening or what had happened, the quiet was enough for now. All she did, was whisper 'I love you'.

Ollie's tear brimmed eyes and smile grew as he realised she was in there. She had let him in, and in her heart he was to stay.


End file.
